Self Exploration

I don't know about you, but the U.S. election really sapped me of my energy and creativity. I've done very little writing, poetry or screenwriting. I haven't updated this blog. I try not to judge myself for these things but I have the Protestant Work Ethic so deeply encoded in my DNA, nonjudgement is next to impossible.

I've also been going through some personal changes. Exploration might be more accurate as nothing in my external world has changed much. I am slowly coming out as nonbinary. Trying it on for size and making sure that it feels right. This is not new for me, I identified as gender neutral before I learned about the term nonbinary. I've been hesitant to come out for a variety of reasons, the foremost being that the first time I confessed this part of my identity to someone, they were completely dismissive to the point of telling me that I was wrong. About who I am. And I let them. Coming out is liberating, to be sure, but not being a person who lets other people tell them who they are anymore is also a significant victory for me.

I'm exploring other parts of myself as well. I feel very much like a pupa eternally locked in a chrysalis stage. I will never be finished defining myself and for that I am grateful.

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